the wonderful adventures of us

the wonderful adventures of will

2012-01-27T14:36:00.000-05:00

the will man found the stairs last week.

bummer.

it's all he wants to do! climb, climb, climb. if he's not climbing the stairs, he's climbing in toy boxes or on top of anything he can get his chunky little legs on. what a cutie.

he also is growing some mad hair in the back. and sometimes it gets just a little flip and resembles the slightest of a curl. and i get excited and take a really bad picture of it.

he has followed in tucker's footsteps in a couple of ways. one being that he hums while he eats and the other being that he loves to play in the dirt. i know he's just exploring but it's eerily similar to tuck's love for dirt at a young age. he played in a flowerless flowerpot yesterday for about 20 minutes. dirt was everywhere and he was happy.

in his new adventures of climbing and the springlike weather we've been having, he tried out the little slide yesterday. and just as expected, only wanted to climb up the slide.

mmm mmm i love those little legs!

he just keeps growing, growing, growing!

i'm a sucker

2012-01-21T08:36:00.000-05:00

for a little boy in plaid.

for a friday train ride.

for cheeseburgers and frozen yogurt for lunch.

for the very loud proclamation, "i tooted!" in public.

for that tush and those boots.

for boys who like to explore.

for time out of our ordinary friday.

for these guys.

for the love.

for the joy.

for nights that grey and tuck crawl into one bed and stay up with their flashlights giggling until they fall asleep.

for those kind of days.

picture-ographer

2012-01-18T16:07:00.001-05:00

grey bear and i get to share some time once a week while his brothers nap. yesterday was our day.

he wanted to take a few pictures with my camera so i took advantage and gave him a little lesson. we've done this before.

he told me right from the start that he wanted to be a picture-ographer one day so he needed his practice.

i set him up with the 35 mm 1.8/f lens, put that puppy on the aperture setting, and let him start testing it out.

at first he was dead set on just taking a bunch of pictures of me. i quickly convinced him that will was probably a much better subject.

{i mean really, who wouldn't want thousands of pictures like this?}

see. much, much better!

i first let him choose where to stand, gave him little direction on focusing, and let him shoot from any angle. i asked what he thought of his pictures and he noticed he didn't have enough of our faces in the picture. good observation.

so i filled him in on getting a good angle. sometimes you've got to even lay on your belly for a good shot!

then i gave him the tip to stand between me and will and the window. he said "oohhh! so you have light on your face?!" seriously grey? you are too smart.

and then, all on his own, he decided he wanted the "square" to focus on our eyes. i think he's a natural.

i just love what he wanted to capture.

maybe he'll be a famous picture-ographer one day :)

wrc.ten months - a day in the life

2012-01-15T20:54:00.001-05:00

a day in your life seems to be a good one. so i thought i would record it for you now while you are learning and growing so very much.

you wake up such a happy boy! your brothers are typically the first to greet you and i hear you squeal with delight as they sing to you and play your favorite game of peek-a-boo.

you are loving food more and more each day. for breakfast you typically eat what we're eating. fresh fruit smoothies are a new favorite and your all time favorite are daddy's grits! you can almost eat more than mommy.

{good morning smoothie!}

after breakfast you play with daddy before work and the always entertaining, grey and tucker! we all continue to dote on you. i mean, how can we help it?

you boys have spent most mornings the past few weeks playing with a big ol' box together. you still go along with whatever your big brothers coerce you into. that box was the perfect entertainment for hours. it was everything from a human tumbler (thanks to marmie!), a cage for each other, and a a favorite peek-a-boo spot.

you ride along to drop grey or grey AND tucker off at school. then you and i come home and you hit the sack at 9:30 for your morning nap. you sleep until 10:30 or 11 and wake up ready to play.

you have a quick snack with some water and are on your busy little way.

we spend the rest of the morning playing until it's time to go get your brother(s).

you may be catching a trend here in your little life at 10 months old. you play a lot! you play by yourself for long periods of time and you also play with others so well.

you are crazy good at throwing the ball. you pick it up over your head and chunk that puppy right at us. and you do it over and over and over again.

you also have mastered the art of sticking your tongue out and blowing raspberries while you play. you mimick car noises. you roar. you clap. you wave. you dance. you even sing along in your own little way.

you always are so happy to see grey and tuck climb into the car after school. i love to hear you giggle at just their mere presence.

we come home and enjoy a ~~nice, quiet~~ loud and rambunctious lunch together. one of the finer things you've acquired this month is your ability to drink from a cup. though you still heavily depend on nursing, we both are experiencing a slight bit of freedom. and it's glorious!

after lunch, i can find you playing again. usually the morning without your brothers leaves you joyful at their activity in the house and you play in their room with them until naptime.

you nap from 2 p.m. to anywhere between 3 and 4. and again you wake up so happy. as your brothers go outside to play with their friends, you and i typically end up playing in your room. it has become a little play haven for you.

you get a big kick out of hiding under your bed and hearing mommy say, "where's will?!" you giggle so hard and give yourself away instantly. and sometimes mommy even squeezes herself under that bed just to hear you giggle that much harder. we play peek-a-boo this way every afternoon.

i can show you how to do something once and then i watch you do it yourself. you are constantly figuring out your world. you consistently remind me so much of grey at your age. the way you look, your temperament, and the way you learn. just know he is one smart cookie so things are looking up for you.

you play at my feet while i fix dinner. as is typical with most babies, the tupperware cabinet is a favorite spot in the kitchen along with the random utensils i give you to bang around with.

daddy comes in and scoops you up while i finish dinner. you two take a walk outside and collect your brothers from their afternoon play.

you sit in your chair anticipating dinner. you eat the full spectrum of foods. your most favorite things are pasta and yogurt. you will eat anything you can feed yourself. you have 4 teeth on top and two on the bottom which i'm sure lends to you eating so much all by yourself. and when you are done you will say "all done."

you continue to love bath time with grey and tuck.we usually find you dunking your entire head in the water, face first, over and over again. and splashing your brothers. they love it and so do you!

we snuggle you up in your jammies and i nurse you right before bed at around 7 pm.

a day in the life of you, my sweet little man. i love spending these days with you.

the nitty gritty.life behind the blog-o-sphere

2012-01-11T21:32:00.001-05:00

i'll just put myself out there.

i don't wash my hands before every meal.

i even forget to wash my children's hands before meals.

i wear make-up to church and that's about it.

you could collect enough crumbs on my floor to provide a snack for 5 people.

my house is a mish mash of things that have been given to us mostly.

i am not good at decorating. period.
i never follow the "don't feed your baby ____" before a certain time.
and i eat sushi when i'm pregnant.

things stay in piles here and there around the house for weeks upon weeks.

i lost a library book and had to pay $44.72 to replace it.

i run but i don't run very fast.

i cry when i watch the wonder years. almost every single time.

i yell at my children.

i don't spend near enough time in the Word.

i like rap music. a lot.
i don't plan really fun date nights.

i am horrible at communicating.

my husband can cook breakfast way better than i can.

i don't think through most decisions.

i lose my patience 673 times a day.
i don't coupon.
i only have a bachelors of arts degree. nothing more. and i don't even use it.
the boys teeth get brushed about 4 times a week. maximum.
i lose the power bill and forget to pay it often.
we don't have one penny saved for college for our children.
i rarely finish anything i start.
we haven't been to disney world.
we don't eat organic.
i don't have a smart phone.
i don't do things the least bit efficiently.
we never go out to eat.
if you want something clean to wear then you have to pick it up out of a pile of clothes on my bedroom floor.
you should see the walls in this house. it's like one big jelly hand print.
having a planner stresses me out.
therefore i struggle to meal plan.
i'm just not very cool in general.

though not all of these are rules, most are things that i feel are expected of me. as a keeper of the home, a mother, a wife. some things are just keeping up with the world around me.

i am far from list checker and a rule follower. this i know. rules make me feel boxed in, anxious. and lists make me feel tied down. so naturally, i want to break free.

and so.

it's obvious the glory goes to Him because,

a new thing has started to occur. when God asks me to do something, i am becoming more and more okay with it. praise Him! i am obeying without hesitation. and it's the most freeing thing i've ever done. He is helping me understand that is all that matters. not these silly little rules we make up for ourselves and one another.

His rules are different.

because when He changes my heart, i don't have to try so hard. i don't think that's what He intended our relationship to be like anyway. obedience should flow much more naturally. it should flow from my trust and belief.

for example, i have started to obey the Lord in the way He asks me to spend my days. by playing, by listening, by dancing and singing, by praying for that friend, by forcing myself out of bed at a very early hour. by setting aside what i had planned for the morning because tucker just wants to make muffins. by leaving the crumbs on the floor and playing superheroes with grey. by
leaving the dishes untouched to play a rousing game of peek-a-boo with will.

and then God speaks louder and bigger things. and i'm okay with those too. i'm ready to obey.

over the past 5 months, God has been stretching matthew and i. things that used to seem so important have fallen to the wayside. they've lost their luster. and boy am i grateful.

we've come to see His bigger picture in a way we can understand for now. it doesn't involve us trying so hard. it involves obedience.

simple as that.

as He asks us to obey in areas we never thought we could, we are learning dependence. and that has brought freedom and joy that my words cannot express.

thankful thursday

2012-01-05T20:53:00.003-05:00

there is just something about that third baby boy.

he has stolen all that is left of my heart.

he gives kisses by the handful.

just today as i was singing to him before his nap, he laid his head on my shoulder, smiled his big ol' grin and leaned in for a kiss. i sang another song and he leaned in for another kiss followed by that grin. i couldn't bring myself to wipe off the slobber that remained. i would have bottled it up if i could have.

thankful for those moments that make up my day to day. and for that baby boy.

most enjoyable of 2011

2011-12-31T21:08:00.002-05:00

{see 2009 and 2010 posts}

january. we begin to seek and ask and wait to hear from the Lord about a lot of things.

snow fun!

february. clarity.

preparing for a new brother and loving the one they already had.

march. beginning to flesh out faith and trust in a whole new way.

will is here!

april. we wait in obedience and watch as the Lord provides in ways that blow our mind.

and the boys initiate will into their brotherhood.

may. life seemed to all come together for a bit.

celebrated these two guys turning two and four.

june. new light shed on old things.

oh the beach!

july. a hard month all around. the start of a new beginning.

the boys and i shared LOTS of time together while daddy traveled.

august. better understanding my role with my boys.

finishing out the summer!

september. a beautiful season of restoration and endurance.

and the boys both start school! grey in a 4 day pre-k and tuck in 2 day MMO.

october. quiet moments lead to big decisions.

lots of fire pit evenings.

november. experiencing tangible grace.

attempted instilling gratefulness into our boys. spent some good time together.

december. reveled in the greatness of God and His activity in our hearts, lives, and family this year.

enjoyed the season celebrating our Savior's coming to earth as a baby. "it's good news!!!!" as tucker has exclaimed all month. it truly is. very good news.

i reflected on 2011 here. only 10 months in to 2011. and i was right, the last two months matched the rest of the year.

we sat around a table with coffee and dessert the night that matthew turned 31 and talked about highlights from the year. all i know is God is working working working to make Himself famous in our hearts. sometimes it really stinks and is really hard. other times we bask in joyous circumstances. He's using all sorts of avenues but when it comes down to it, He just wants us to obey Him. to know Him and to obey Him.

i can't wait to see what's in store for 2012.

it's not christmas until it snows

2011-12-30T22:31:00.000-05:00

according to the grey bear, it isn't going to actually be Christmas this year until it snows. and until grey can throw snowballs with his cousins. he still thinks Christmas hasn't happened. you know, because it hasn't snowed yet. he's really caught up on this and cannot get past it. i guess that's what happens when the first Christmas he can actually remember was snow filled!

really though, we had a wonderful Christmas. it seemed to be the year of the superhero for grey and tuck. we are batman-ed and spiderman-ed out over here. they are loving it and i, in turn, am loving it. Christmas was a bit more simple this year and i hope it gets more simple in the years to come. that's the way it should be.

i'll let the pictures tell our 2011 Christmas story.

craft paper, cookies, and gifts

2011-12-21T21:30:00.000-05:00

i decided to take the traditional, simple route this year and use craft paper to wrap all of our gifts. i also used yarn to tie on homemade "pom poms" as the boys like to call them. my mom gave me this idea. she used to make these when she was a youngster to attach to her boots :) i also had the opportunity to make all of the tags when she came up for the day last week. we have loved the simple look under the tree and it was all so fun to make!

we have also been using the craft paper to roll out, tape to the floor, and let the boys color the day away! you can't beat a gigantic roll for $10! it's going to last for quite a while.

the boys got to decorate their big gingerbread men yesterday morning and had a blast. they even gave them a kiss at the end.

our next to last advent box was exciting. the boys got to open their gift from us! after breakfast we sat by the tree and they took turns opening their gifts. grey got a double spin wheel spiderman toothbrush. he was so incredibly thankful! it was precious. tucker got a hexbug habitat which both boys played with all morning. willster got a wooden car carrier which they all also enjoyed.

matthew and i just sat back and thoroughly enjoyed watching the joy on their little faces.

we all sat by the tree this evening before bed time with all of the lights off (except for the tree of course) and sang "silent night" together. then matthew reminded us all of what is on top of our tree, the star. that Jesus is the light. that Jesus has come to earth. that He is our Savior and He is alive today! amen and amen. what a season to celebrate!!!

december highlights

2011-12-18T20:30:00.000-05:00

{out take from our christmas card photo session}

december is flying by. just a snapshot of a few highlights.

1. christmas viewings. the boys love charlie brown christmas. even daddy joins in!

2. christmas baking. tucker, for one, has thoroughly enjoyed himself.

3. multi-tasking. tuck even fell asleep up top.

3. family walks.

6. christmas party. two grown men in their jammies.

7. a mid-week visit from marmie and gram!

8. christmas performance at school. oh, this was the greatest! and will was in awe.

9. paper chains.

10. christmas picnic by the fire. with LOTS of lights.

11. being together more often than normal.

12. a christmas baby and a tired gus!

happy decembering to you!

wrc . 9 months

2011-12-15T14:30:00.000-05:00

that smile. you light up my whole heart with it.

you continue to win your brothers over day by day. they now fight for your attention and play time.

oh my you love to play. you play so well alone when you have the opportunity. your brothers keep you busy in all of their make believe. you eat it up and love to be a part of what they are doing.

you are talking talking. you say "woof woof" when we ask what the doggie says. you are waving lots. you are starting to sign back to me. you have your own signs back but they are consistent with what you are trying to communicate.

you prefer to feed yourself. you will only let us feed you yogurt and sweet potatoes. other then that, you want something that you can do by yourself. everything i have made for to eat, you refuse. but if i cut up little pieces for you to feed yourself, you will eat all day! i guess it's better that way.

your top two teeth poked through last saturday. you were a sad little man that afternoon but after a good snuggle with mommy and a nice walk by the river, you perked up!

tucker has started ONLY calling you william. this is a step up from willie which he insisted was your name a couple of months ago. grey still calls you will buddy most of the time. and mommy and daddy call you all sorts of things. like will baby, wilbur, sir william, wills, pooks, and whatever else happens to come out in the moment.

you love when daddy comes home from work. he scoops you up and throws you into the air. you giggle, giggle, giggle. and enjoy some time with him until your brothers come inside and then it's a constant wrestling match until bedtime. but you are starting to join in on that a bit too.

i snuck in to get a few snaps of you sleeping the other day. you were all snuggled up with your little lamb. your sleeping habits are moving backwards yet again with your two top teeth making an entrance. thankfully you are a happy happy boy regardless!

as we have been doing lots and lots of christmas baking, you haven't missed out on it. you are right at my feet wherever i go, watching a waiting.

your favorite toys are paper, magazines, and the christmas tree! you enjoy taking all the ornaments off, looking at them, and letting us redecorate. my small magazine basket is a treasure trove in your eyes. you love to tear them all up and leave little trails behind you as you crawl off to some other exploration.

we are praying for that little heart of yours even now at such a young age. the Lord has great things in store for you to be and do for Him. we love you william reeves.

donuts and lights

2011-12-11T19:06:00.001-05:00

we headed out this week for our traditional "donuts and lights night!" this one may come back around again this season because everyone's a fan. even the william!

tucker chose a donut with pink frosting and sprinkles and grey had one with white frosting a sprinkles. matthew and i shared a donut with each other and will may or may not have gotten a little taste. and he may or may not have LOVED it. naturally.

then we set off around town to "oooo" and "ahhh" at the festive displays!

the weekend

2011-12-07T20:01:00.001-05:00

poppie and marmie joined in our christmas festivities this past weekend.

the four of us dropped all the boys off at church friday evening for parents night out. (sidenote: this is quite possibly one of the best ministries to families. twice a year our church offers FREE childcare for the evening complete with dinner for the kids. how awesome is that?!) then headed to cantina 1511 to eat some of the absolute best mexican food around. just the four of us.

we sat down and i thought about how long it had been since we got to eat a meal with JUST my parents. and have conversation. and eat an entire meal sitting down together. it was great! then we stopped into amelie's to grab some coffee and dessert. what a nice evening!

saturday morning the boys woke up so excited to go to cracker barrell! they were so good and ended up eating more than any of us adults.

their advent box for the day was to make ornaments at the pottery painting place. this is a tradition with poppie and marmie.

saturday afternoon as my mom and i were out doing a little shopping, i got a call from matthew that someone was offering us tickets to the ACC Championship game that night. what?! when we woke up that morning i asked matthew if he wished he was going to get to go to the game. of course he replied yes! he has been to at least one clemson game since 1997 for heavens sake. neither one of us had the opportunity to go to one all year.

the senario was perfect. my parents were already in town planning to babysit for us to go on a date so we adorned ourselves in clemson attire and rode the train downtown to watch the tigers play. now matthew and i had totally prepared ourselves for a big loss. not that we don't have faith but come on. the end of our regular season was a sad one. but instead, the tigers played like they were playing at the beginning of the season! and i found myself jumping and cheering my heart out right smack dab in the middle of all the VT fans! thankfully we made friends with most of the people around us so they didn't mind my out of control excitement just to sing tiger rag in the stands with at least 40,000 other clemson fans. i sure am thankful we got to go see the tigers win!

it was a better date than we could have dreamed up.

{notice all the VT fans had cleared out of there}

we rode the train back to pineville after the game and i was crammed in next to 2 current students at clemson. we talked for a few minutes and then i proceeded to sound like a 90 year old woman when i said, "live it up, these are some of the best days of your lives!" but i was totally serious. and they totally agreed.

the boys had a date at home with poppie and marmie. movie night and milkshakes. i think we all came out with a win.

we were all sad to see poppie and marmie hit the road sunday afternoon after a delicious birthday lunch for poppie. but marmie will definitely be back soon. it was such a nice relaxing (and exciting) weekend!

a tale

2011-12-07T09:27:00.001-05:00

i caught the boys playing in will's room yesterday. they had their own story and i would never break into their world but to snap a few shots of moments i want to remember forever. will was even in on this one. i watched as he loved every second of being toted around and told what to do and where to sit.

beginning advent 2011

2011-12-05T21:32:00.001-05:00

the boys are loving the christmas season.

matthew and i are enjoying sitting back and watching the joy in their eyes. it's just as i remember it as a child.

we started our advent boxes a little early this year as to finish all 25 before we leave for our christmas travels. the first box revealed that we would be reading the story of when God placed the star in the sky to lead the shepherds and wisemen to Jesus. along with this we would put our star on top of the tree and decorate it.

it was tuck's year to put the star on and he did an excellent job trying. more so, matthew did an excellent job balancing both boys to take part in this.

and oh my word! they LOVED decorating the tree!!! they would have stayed up all night. in fact, tucker couldn't go to sleep he was so excited about it. he kept coming downstairs just to sit on the couch and look at it. he would say, "ooo! i put the star on top and decorated the tree. it's so pretty!" we couldn't resist letting him stay up just to look at the pretty tree.

it's fun to hear grey ask about specific things he found in our boxes last year. he remembers! and is looking forward to each day. and oh that tuck man. he is thrilled with anything we do together.

all of our boxes are different. some boxes reveal bigger, more involved things than others. some are very very simple. the other morning we read the entire nativity story as a family and used our little people nativity to act it out. the boys really liked this. they added some other props to the story but nonetheless, they enjoyed it! i'm sure there were dump trucks, alligators, cranes, and excavators at the manger.

here's a few other favorite snapshots from the past couple of weeks. matthew remembers making box cars when he was a little boy. and now i know why! they played in this thing for a good long while. will even got in on the action and had a blast!

marmie and poppie were here this weekend for our christmas fun! that's another post.

the season

2011-11-30T14:46:00.001-05:00

the thanksgiving holiday was very relaxing and enjoyable. what could be better than extended quality time with family, yummy food, and late night conversations?! the boys' have been coming out of their "after time with cousins" funk. they love to play hard with all of their cousins and this time was no different. they are always very sad when it's over but special memories were made!

i don't have too many pictures this year because my memory cards are being bombarded with other peoples' families :) it's been a pleasure to be able to capture other families for them this season. i am really enjoying it.

i do have a few from matthew's iphone of what we've been up to recently.

sunday evening we took the boys to pick out the family christmas tree. boy were they excited!

tucker was mesmerized how the man wrapped the tree up in a net and has talked about it everyday since. they were so proud of that tree and watched daddy tie it up on top of the van full of smiles and "we really got to take it home!"

we've already begun celebrating with our advent boxes this year. and grey has been pretending to be santa :)

their excitement for this season has grown from last year. i'm so glad it's only the beginning!

He came to us

2011-11-22T11:07:00.001-05:00

i was listening to the new elevation worship album during my run this morning. "we rejoice" came on and i found myself with my hands raised (always a little risky on the treadmill) praising the Lord. i thought i would share it and hopefully you will find yourself praising Emmanuel.

praise the Lord our King has come!

weekend

2011-11-20T21:15:00.001-05:00

well this weekend was jam packed.

mostly with good things.

i got to capture this little man at 8 days old.

how precious is he?! i can almost smell that sweet baby smell just looking at the picture. i sure wish i would have captured mine like this so fresh.

after all the jam packed-ness, i ended up with a jam up headache. maybe it was the absolutely embarrassing clemson game last night (which i only watched about 2 minutes of because i couldn't bear it) or maybe it was the extremely fast pace i kept but i crashed today. all plans ceased and i took a good ol' fashioned nap. it's amazing what rest can do for your body. tonight, i am almost headache free!

it's on to thanksgiving week and i can't wait!

one of those

2011-11-18T22:15:00.001-05:00

it's been one of "those" weeks.

i won't go into details but nothing has gone as i have planned and i am flat out tired. and overwhelmed.

ugh.

but...

i was looking through some pictures that i took last week of the boys under my favorite fall tree in our yard. i took some last fall in the same spot and want to do it every year.

let's just say this year i counted my attempt as a fail. you should have seen me trying to wrangle these little fellas into one spot and get all three of them to JUST LOOK at the camera for ONE picture. just ONE. it's basically impossible to do alone.

at second glance, i found that i absolutely loved them and maybe my attempt wasn't a fail. they show exactly who my boys are and i ended up laughing as i remembered throwing myself down in the grass surrendering to absolute boyness that heavily surrounds me.

wrc . 8 months

2011-11-15T14:08:00.001-05:00

let's see, let's see little man. your 8th month was FULL of new things.

you began to really take off on your hands and knees and a busy little boy you are! along with that came pulling up on everything you can. you set your little eyes on a prize and go after it full force. one of your favorite things to go after is your brothers. they continue to be the apple of your eye, especially that grey bear.

you are now joining in on all of their fun rather than just watching. as long as it's not too rough. just last night daddy was wrestling with grey and tuck and you sat in amazement before taking off for the action. once you got close enough, you reached for mommy. it really was a little too rough so i was happy to laugh along with you. if it's not too rough, you crawl over and on and all around your brothers. you love when they "sit" on you and bounce. you giggle and giggle and make sure i'm right there to watch.

i have a suspicion you are going to be an attention hog. if no one is looking your direction you have learned to squeal VERY loudly so that we can't help but pay attention to you! today on our trip to the store you squealed and squealed grabbing everyone's attention around you just so you could hear them say how adorable you are. you allow mommy to meet all kinds of new people and have some great conversation! one lady asked to take you home :)

one of your favorite places to play other than grey and tuck's room is your own room! as soon as i get you out of your bed, you are reaching for your basket of toys and will play contentedly for awhile. you are enjoying books and especially books about dogs. we are working on teaching you to say 'woof woof!' i have a feeling it may be coming soon because you sure do like to talk a lot! more than both your brothers at this age. you babble babble babble while you play and ride in the car. you love to mimic sounds and try to talk back when we talk to you. grey thinks this is so special. he talks with you more than anyone.

you still love to play with my hair while you nurse. you also prefer to be held and sung to before sleeping. i love to hold you so close before laying you down. i will treasure these moments for as long as i live.

you are indeed another momma's boy. as you grow, your attachment to me also grows. you will let others hold you and entertain you for a time but only a short time while i'm around. i am enjoying our time together day by day. i love watching you grow and learn and understand the world around you. you are coming into your own little person and it is a pleasure to be with you every step of the way.

inside out

2011-11-10T16:09:00.001-05:00

{photo credit to none other than the tuck meister}

there have been lots of calls, texts, emails, and comments about matthew lately.

yes yes. matthew has lost 40 plus pounds. he looks wonderful.

but even more than looking wonderful, the Lord has been faithful to do a work in his heart regarding his health. that's where it starts. and we get the grace of having an outer visual of the inner working. i realized today that's exactly what his weight loss has been. grace.

i have had the pleasure of watching matthew on a journey of obedience in the realm of his health. i wish i could accurately dipict how encouraging it has been to walk right beside him these the past 4 months.

he has depended on the Lord. he has failed. he has not given up but depended even more on the Lord. he has been weak. he has been disciplined. he has simply been obedient.

this isn't a matter of going on a diet to lose weight. this is a matter of taking care of the physical body that the Lord has given him. in trusting that God is bigger and better than running to food to satisfy. weight loss has been an immediate outward result but this is going to be an act of obedience for the rest of our lives. in the foods we choose to consume. in making time to exercise. in having the most energy that we can for our boys. in discipline to bring the Lord more glory with our bodies.

it has been an inside out working. and it's not over.

memory dump

2011-11-08T21:51:00.000-05:00

1. we enjoyed our trunks and treats at church last week. the boys loved dressing up. we had two woody's this year and a little dragon. they were super cute and ate way too much candy. tuck charmed the ladies, they played lots of games, and they just enjoyed being with their friends.

2. on halloween we carved our pumpkin, danced on our table, and had a fun time together.

{notice grey bear in the background breakin' it down}

3. we've been listening to coldplay's new album . our favorite song is paradise. there's a whole lotta head boppin' when that song comes on. i don't have a picture of this but my mental picture works for me.

4. tucker has been pottying like a pro lately. he's been in undies every day, all day except for naptime and bedtime. and he's telling us he needs to go! success. now he is a funny one on the "number twosies" as we call it around here. he loves to label his poo. he'll call us in there and say something to the effect of "LOOK! there's a daddy one, a mommy one, and a wittle baby one. and there's a snake!" oh my heavens. have i mentioned he's funny? he is. really funny. and i'll spare another naked tucker picture for the blog.

5. grey ended up his soccer season on saturday morning. it was COLD. we bundled up and watched that boy actually kick the ball 3 times during the game. way to go out with a bang grey bear! his team had a little party after his game where they received a bible and a trophy. he was so proud.

6. that boy. he has one of the sweetest dispositions (most of the time). some things that have come out of his mouth lately... as i was getting ready for church sunday, "ooo mommy, you look beautiful!" or "let's sit and just talk for awhile. so, how was your day mommy? what was your favorite part?" or "that necklace looks really pretty on you. ooo and i love those earrings!" he really takes notice of the girly things. probably because he doesn't see much around here and it's rare that i actually look "nice."

7. tuck and grey have their certain songs they are "into" right now. for tucker it's background by lecrae. and oh my goodness we listen to that song all the time. i hear, "mommy, we listen to backround?" so many times a day. grey bear pretty much likes ANY lecrae song but really likes gungor as well as coldplay's new cd. we have jazz for kids that they both really enjoy. (thanks ATL cavins!) we always have a beat playing around here.

8. will baby is kicking things up a few notches. he is making more effort into a real crawl. which is trouble as i find him crawling as quickly as he can to pick up the tiniest of "somethings" to put into that little mouth. he's pulling up on everything and acquiring quite the forehead of bruises as he ends up on falling face forward on his explorations. he's babbling up a storm. he enjoys spending most of his day outside in the beautiful weather we've been having.

9. we went on a walk today, me and the three little ones. i got to enjoy each of their precious personalities in very funny ways. grey was apprehensive as he wasn't quite sure where we were going and kept asking to go back home. tucker held my hand for the first few minutes and stuck close by my side and as soon as he was comfortable, he took off exploring all that our walk had to offer. will sat in the stroller kicking his legs and babbling the entire time. complete with squeals of delight. i love my boys.

10. spiderman. the boys have been watching episodes (circa 1981) of spiderman on netflix as a special treat lately. grey especially likes him. his christmas list has transformed into all things spiderman. and he jumps around the house, climbing on things and throwing himself on walls more often than not. tucker has been deemed captain america so they have all sorts of adventures together.

11. speaking of imaginations. the boys have made their room into a make-believe haven. exactly what i have dreamed up for them. i listen in on tales of spiderman and captain america and will the "monster," father and son play, doctor and patient, teacher and student. i look in and see them dancing to one of their cd's or laying on the floor looking at books together. some nights i listen to them sing to one another and play flashlight tag on the ceiling as they fall asleep.

i have no pictures for some of these specific things but i sure hope this can help jog my memory one day of when they were little boys playing in a world all their own.

2011 . ten month review

2011-11-02T21:13:00.000-04:00

i recently wrote down all that the Lord has done just in 2011. i was overwhelmed to say the least.

this year has been an exceptional year of growth and change for us. matthew described 2011 as the best year of his life.

i just might agree.

there is one common theme i saw as i was writing down the events of the year. we were constantly on our knees. we have found ourselves in this same position before Him more often than not. it's where i want to stay. forever. things make sense there.

in all of the the time we've spent there, the Lord has been very clear with us individually on so many levels. and in turn, He has been clear with us together. for our family and our ministry. though those things are separate, they are very much intertwined.

Jesus says, "let the little children come to me." that has taken shape and form in our lives this year in a tangible way.

i can understand dependence. i've got three little ones that are extremely dependent upon me. one who depends on me for sustenance even. what a perfect, in my face, picture of my calling to Himself. He is drawing us closer to that each day and making it even clearer that we can't do it without Him. not one little thing.

there have been days that during nap time, i find myself lying on the floor crying out to Him for strength, for endurance. for clarity on my next move in our day. it sounds dramatic and maybe sometimes it is but in those moments, when i make less of myself and more of Him, is when it all seems to come together.

the details will be stored in our family journal for our children to look back on and praise Him for His goodness. it's just so obvious only He could orchestrate our circumstances. and that He is the author of our lives. and we want to remember it all. hindsight is always 20/20.

He has given us strength in our circumstances, put food on our table, diapers on our babies, given us an incredible vision for our future, poured truth in to our hearts, given us a means to exercise, a van to drive, boys to raise, wisdom to teach and love, perspective, clarity of mind and heart and purpose. He has expanded our faith, refined our view of our finances, called us to wait and obey. He has provided, sustained, and shown us grace in ways we never could have imagined in 2011.

and we still have two months left.

i can assure you i will remain on my knees

moments

2011-10-27T21:21:00.000-04:00

i keep telling myself to write stuff down. i just can't soak it all in fast enough. i feel like the days are flying by and there is so much to photograph and remember. so many sweet, mundane moments that i just can't be in them enough. if i spend my time trying to capture the moment then i'll miss the moment. but then i want to remember it. and sometimes my mind fails me.

so i try and have the camera handy more often than not. not for photographic perfection or even anything remotely close. but to capture the simple moments that fill my heart so full i can barely stand it.

i told matthew this weekend that i truly wish i had a permanent video camera attached to my shoulder. i want to remember it ALL. not just some.

like when tucker holds up his little finger at me and says "jus' wait wight dere mommy. i'll be wight back ooookay?" or will's uncontrollable giggles. or grey and tucker taking hold of each others' hands and running down through the yard unprompted. or even the fighting. i do want to remember that too.

or one gorgeous fall day on the deck with my boys after lunch. like today. i looked out of the window and saw this.

nothing extravagant. at all. but to me i couldn't help but move closer to the door to hear them talking and playing together. and the big guys watching out for will that he didn't eat all the leaves in his circumference.

so i finished up my lunch and headed to the deck to "just be" with them. i watched as grey set up a chair for tucker to watch him play football in the backyard. tuck cheered him on from the sidelines as i commentated the whole thing.

tuck was all out cheering on his brother which made grey run harder and faster. then he tired of playing alone and tried to coax tucker to at least come tackle him. i mean what a dream for the tuck bomb. i think grey gave him too many specific instructions and totally turned tucker off from the whole thing.

so we ended up just sitting and chatting. and laughing at tucker. oh my word, he is the funniest child.

sir william just watched it all, soaked it all in, and decided to pull himself up. most likely he'll be the one to listen to all of grey's instructions and join in his games.

i am truly beginning to understand what being in the moment really means. and living there. but i will bring my camera along every now and again.

sick day.

2011-10-25T20:37:00.000-04:00

i spent a good part of today in bed. i woke up so dizzy that i couldn't stand up. or even sit up for that matter. ugh. it was awful. if i moved i felt like i was going to lose it. so i stayed right there in bed.

days like today are hard for me. i don't like the skip in routine. (if you know me at all you know that's a NEW one.) i would have much rather matthew made his way to work for the day and we go about our normal business. so i had to give myself somewhat of a pep talk and tell myself that if this was going to be the way it was, then i better just enjoy some time to rest.

and i did.

i slept a little extra, read a lot, tried not to move too much for fear i may pass out or throw up. by about 11 am i yearned for my little boys to come snuggle up with me right where i was. thankfully that happened before too much more time passed.

will came to snuggle, play, nurse and fall asleep.

tuck came to play dinosaurs and to look at his bug chart. you should hear him say "boll weevil." it's the cutest thing.

and grey bear came to talk a little about his day.

before i knew it they were all tucked in for their own naps and i decided on another myself. i woke up feeling less dizzy and as the day progressed i was back on my feet but not before i found plastic dinosaurs and a few extra blankets in my bed.

now if you're going to be sick, that's the way to do it.

saturday in pictures

2011-10-24T21:30:00.001-04:00

{shout out: for this post i am adopting alexa's frequent post format}

a saturday morning soccer game followed by a fall festival which entailed a hayless hay ride that took us to a "secret" pumpkin patch, tractor driving, and hay bale jumping.

a boys' dream.

followed up with a good nap, another clemson tiger VICTORY, roasted hot dogs and marshmallows, and a late night firepit/coffee date for the hubs and i.

what a wonderful saturday.

jax

2011-10-21T21:58:00.000-04:00

last weekend we made a delightful trip down to jacksonville, fl to visit my brother and his family for a few days. i prepared for the worst when it came to the actual car trip with three small boys. and i am pleased to say they were excellent. excellent. all three of them. they are good travelers and very flexible but that tuck man does not liked to be strapped in a car seat for long.

they made themselves busy busy with all sort of things. grey couldn't wait to get to garrett's house and i was afraid he was going to pull the ol' "are we there yet?" every 2 minutes until we got there but thankfully he was more interested in the bajillion activities i had packed.

we hit quite the storm on the way down but finally arrived a little after 11 pm.

friday was filled full with lots of fun! we hit the jacksonville zoo that morning. what an awesome zoo! matthew and i loved it. the weather was absolutely perfect.

we looked at the map, rode the train, played on the best playground i've ever been to, had a picnic, oh yeah and we saw some animals!

my favorite were the penguins. garrett and grey tried their hand at the camera. grey got to use my camera and got a stellar shot of a penguin swimming by.

and the boys played on REALLY big elephants.

we reluctantly made our way back to the house and hit the beach later that evening for some family pictures. i was so glad to capture some images of life right now for them. what a stunning little family!

my boys just played in the ocean in their clothes. and had a blast!

the adults got to finally relax together friday night and have a little conversation.

saturday morning we got to go watch garrett play t-ball and uncle nathan coach! we got to see garrett hit a ball that was pitched to him, run the bases, and be the catcher. grey thought it was awesome.

unfortunately we had to leave after lunch on saturday to make it home for church sunday morning.

as we stopped for a short bathroom, nursing, stretching break, we told the boys to hop out of the van and stretch their legs. so they did.

we did get the pleasure of stopping in columbia to see papa and gigi and eat a delicious dinner. what a treat!

we had a blast and are so thankful for nathan, allison, garrett and sweet wyatt. we are so glad we got to come down to your stompin' grounds and spend some time together. sorry we broke a plate, disrupted your sleep, and took over your house. good thing we know you love us too!

wrc.7months

2011-10-18T21:01:00.002-04:00

the will-meister is officially 7 months.

our play time has been kicked up a few notches with the addition of a half real crawl, half commando crawl. by the end of the week i'm afraid he'll be full out crawling.

the time has gone so fast. i realized around 6 months that he was INDEED 6 months. and at 6 months that baby needed to be broken of his habit of waking up at 3 am to eat and snuggle with mommy. thankfully it only took about a week or so but he is now solidly sleeping from 7 pm (sometimes 6:30 even) until 5 or 5:30 am. then he pulls out another hour or two until he's ready for the day! woop woop.

he naps well for me. two solid naps during the day and wakes up a happy happy boy! getting him up from his nap never fails to make my day. he greets me with the biggest grin ready to play.

he continues to be so very enjoyable. he is most excited to see his brothers and watch them play. with his new found mobility, he has started to join in more often. and oh my, does he love a good bath with his brothers! he always gets really tired around 6 so we stick him in the tub with grey and tuck and they play, play and play some more. he splashes them and they splash him back which evokes the sweetest giggles. i'll have to catch that on camera soon.

he is continuing to teeth. but it doesn't affect him too much. he is just so stinkin' happy.

thankfully as i mentioned in my previous post, he is eating more solids! he continues to nurse like a champ and prefer it to eating solids but i sneak those in frequently. he has been into gumming on some avocado in recent days and i catch him actually leaning in for more.

as i watch this little one grow i just want to hold on tighter and tighter. i can't wait until he wakes up to hear that belly laugh again!

until next month...

camera dump

2011-10-11T21:14:00.001-04:00

i had a couple of very randomly full memory cards that i dumped today. here were some of my findings of our every day.

1. peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

every single day without fail the boys eat one for lunch. grey now eats an entire sandwich and tuck sticks with halfsies. it's usually accompanied by a cheese stick, some grapes, and a lot of silly.

2. good ol' fashioned play time.

these three boys are becoming fast friends. grey and tuck are letting will into their brotherhood and it's fun to watch. whereas most of our time is spent outside in this perfect weather we've had, they never fail to include the littlest brother in almost every activity he can be a part of.

3. EARLY mornings.

now that the tuckmeister is in his big boy bed, he gets up when he wakes up. and it's early. like 5:00 some mornings. and he tends to wake up grey while he's at it.

it just so happened that saturday morning while matthew was camping, ALL THREE boys were up at 5:30 a.m. we snuggled up and watched some cartoons for most of the morning until i could down a few cups of coffee.

4. these four.

these guys play together every afternoon. grey and tuck adore adam and krista. adore them. we pray for them every day before naps and every night before bed. we thank God for them at meals.

we are so blessed to have them as our neighbors. i love that our boys are able to make memories with these guys. they are forever on a ship being chased by bad guys or playing house or running from evil zurg, aka tucker.

5. food, FINALLY!

will is consistently eating food. he i actually opening his mouth now! he has obviously been getting what he needs from me so i haven't been pushing it too hard but seriously?! he'll be 7 months old this weekend. he loves bananas and sweet potatoes. so proud of that little man. it's been a long time coming.

6. tucker time.

though this deserves an entirely separate post i will say that he and i have some special time monday and wednesday mornings while will is napping. we talk at the sink while he helps me do dishes. we hunt for acorns. we color pumpkins and apples. and we bake together. time well spent.

he also comes up with some stellar outfits. while searching for pecans.

7. bike riding.

grey got his cousin jacob's old bike and he has been a riding machine. he has fallen off a few times and acquired a few good scrapes. i told him it's not a good time on your bike if you don't skin your knees every now and then. they show that you are playing hard and having fun!

although he has let up a little on his riding as of late, i plan on taking him out one on one soon for a good ride.

welp, 7 is a good round number of randomness. i'll have to do this more often!

flashback friday

2011-10-07T20:32:00.001-04:00

in honor of a clemson homecoming.

i miss all these girls. wish we could all make it to a game together. maybe if we weren't living all over the country and all having babies :) those are some special people right there.

if i wrote a book

2011-10-04T10:56:00.005-04:00

it would be 2 pages and go a little something like this.

page one.

study God's Word. dig deep and let Him show you who He really is. not who you think He is. He is so much greater than that.

page two.

magnify the Lord in all of His greatness. wherever you are. it will make you small and He great.

the end.

i believe this applies to any and all circumstances and will remind myself of His greatness when i just don't understand. or when things do make sense.

soccer, s'mores, and football

2011-10-03T22:00:00.000-04:00

grey had his first soccer game this weekend. oh my heavens.

how would you like that guy to be your goalie?

it seems to be that grey is more interested in conversing with his friends than going after that ball. wonder where he gets that? he liked to stick towards the back of the bunch of 4 year olds chasing the ball around the field and hang out with his friends, mainly annabelle.

he did actually do pretty good playing goalie. it's not so aggressive. right up his alley. he wasn't paying attention and one slipped by him. after that, he blocked 3 goals! and i think the thrill was throwing the ball back into the game.

i did catch him in the middle of the action a few times. overall i think he just plain had fun.

i know tucker showed his love for the sport during half time.

Poppie, Marmie, Greer, and Luke were in town for the weekend. Luke and Poppie got to enjoy the game with us.

we also had a yard sale saturday morning. we have a little more moola than we had before and we cleaned out a bunch of stuff. WIN. now it's on to organizing what's left!

it was such a treat to have family in to stay this weekend. the kiddos played outside lots in the cool weather and got along so great! grey and greer are just the cutest and get along so well they played and played and played. luke and tuck are definitely little boys...times two! seeing them all together makes me realize what a precious gift it is that they have each other. we were missing garrett and wyatt and hope to ALL be together soon.

we roasted marshmallows saturday night (all the while keeping a close eye on the game). s'mores are always a hit.

luke just liked the plain ol' marshmallow.

and i think tucker just likes burning things.

the oldest two LOVED the s'mores.

will even tried to get in a s'more.

those kiddos make me laugh so hard. they are all so different and i so enjoy seeing them interact with each other.

we ended our saturday watching the tigers remain undefeated in a victory over virginia tech. woo hoo!!!

the boys dressed for the occassion sunday morning.

and have watched youtube video after youtube video of clemson cheers and chants.

tuck's favorite is by far tiger rag. grey is slowly but surely teaching him how to do it. he's got C L E M S OOOO N down without the proper fist pump form.

this is what we spent the morning doing. and he has some serious moves to go along with it.

go tigers!

i'm totally okay with that

2011-09-28T14:40:00.003-04:00

it really is okay that i'm just a mom.

wanna know why that's okay? because God said so. seriously. he totally did. and now i'm okay with being just a mom.

really? i'm just a mom? no fancy side business, no professional career, no thing that takes my time other than being just a mom?

yes. exactly.

it's okay that i spend my days being wrestled to the floor and making animal noises. that i play cars and trucks and trains. that i spend my days correcting and correcting again. oh and correcting again. that my baby won't take a bottle because i am available all day every day to nurse him. that i wipe little booties a whole heck of a lot. that i draw pumpkins for my two year old every single solitary morning. that i spend countless hours answering grey's questions. that i have "helpers" in the grocery store. that i can cuddle and affirm my boys at any point in the day that i desire.

it's okay to devote all of myself to my children to be just a mom.

it's okay because it's God's design for me.

i was apparently struggling with my design to be just a mom and totally didn't realize it. until a few weeks ago.

i was running on the treadmill during naptime. and clear as day God spoke to me. clear as day. in my heart down to my toes. "just be where I have you. don't look around. just be 150% for your boys."

so here i am. just a mom. and i am more than okay with it.

my boys need all of me. not part of me. not the leftovers after i've given myself to some side job, a career. they need me to wipe their booties. they need me to play on the floor. to build snowmen out of playdoh and draw pumpkin trains. they need me to read to them and answer their questions. to clean up their messes and show them who God is when we're talking, walking, or sitting. they need me to be okay with being just a mom.

so as i have a fresh perspective on where i am in this journey, the Lord continues to draw me toward Himself. He is faithfully breaking me down and making me childlike again in my faith. in this overwhelming assignment of being just a mom.

i have three boys who will be men. they will lead their wives and their families. they will be employees, confidants, leaders. now is the time for me to be just a mom to help shape and guide with all that i've got. and nothing less. they will be doing the shaping and the guiding before too long. and from generation to generation i want them to share who God is and what He has done.

it starts with me being just a mom.

and i'm totally okay with that.

weekend things

2011-09-25T21:39:00.000-04:00

this young man is sportin' two new pearly whites. they poked through last week. he has been rockin' frozen peaches quite frequently. he is fairing well with his two new friends but certainly is losing a little sleep over the matter. which means i am too.

we had a camp out in our living room this weekend, complete with s'mores. woody and woody enjoyed numerous hours of playtime, movies, snacks, and trapping oscar in the tent. it's the littlest things that can really set the stage for a good time. you know, like a tent in the living room.

we eventually moved it into their room and set it up like a real camp site. the twilight turtle illuminated the stars above them and they each had their own flashlight! we read books and tucked them in. only seconds later grey started crying and got in his bed but the tuck bomb slept like a rock in the tent all night long.

we also went to the fresh market which is always an experience with the three little ones. grey and tuck each got to carry the veggies we purchased. the highlight for them is getting to occasionally touch the vegetables they have a million questions about and bag them up for us.

they also loved the idea of picking out our family pumpkin until the guy told me the one i wanted was $30. THIRTY DOLLARS for a medium sized pumpkin. no way i said and continued to let the boys touch all of their precious pumpkins.

we'll try our favorite market next weekend!

we finished off our saturday cheering the tigers on to ANOTHER victory! grey has really gotten into tiger rag and C L E M S OOOO N! so we cheered and cheered and cheered some more.

a delightful rainy, fall weekend!

every year

2011-09-19T21:15:00.000-04:00

every year about this time, i get very nostalgic.

{just} three reasons i love my alma mater.

one.

i love the enthusiasm of that man. character goes a long way.

and the incredible excitement that surrounds game day in death valley. nothing like it.

two.

“I remember when I was coaching down at Florida, we would always lose kids in recruiting battles to Clemson. I would tell my coaches that we shouldn't be losing kids to Clemson. Charlie Strong responded ‘coach have you ever actually been to Clemson?’ I hadn’t but I’ll tell you what, I’ve been here now and I get it. This is an exceptional, special place.”

Urban Meyer

three.

training them up right.

wrc.6 months

2011-09-18T21:36:00.001-04:00

i say this every day at least 20 times a day but this baby is such a JOY.

a JOY i tell ya.

i took him for his six month check up and you would have thought he was a celebrity in our doctor's office. he was swooning all the ladies with his grins and coos, he impressed everyone by responding to his name, and won everybody over with his striking good looks.

what can i say, he is one handsome fella!

at six months, will is full of all kinds of crazy antics. here's a visual.

he spends his days watching his big brothers. therefore he is revin' up to join them sooner than later. i am so not ready for this. so NOT ready. he can't be that old yet. there's no way.

oh this baby loves to swing!

he loves his jumparoo.

and he loves grey.

he loves his daddy and the excitement that always surrounds him.

i was remembering just yesterday what i expressed in this post about will being the third boy in our family. i can't imagine life any different than having him as my third boy. i love every single thing about that baby. i am loving more and more each day seeing more and more of who he is. he is just perfect for our family. matthew and i constantly marvel at the blessing of all three of them, each so unique and intentionally created.

precious are these days.

our sunday

2011-09-11T21:28:00.000-04:00

uncle nathan, aunt allison, garrett, and wyatt spent the afternoon with us on their way back to jacksonville. we have 5 boys between us. the oldest three enjoyed every minute together.

they were all in grey and tuck's room for a while and then we heard them bounding down the stairs, each with a different piece of band equipment. they prepared "a special song" {according to tuck} for us. tuck on the drums, garrett was the lead singer, and grey on the guitar.

we caught some classic pictures.

then they hit the yard to play a little baseball. they took turns hitting, catching, pitching, and running the bases. uncle nathan is garrett's t-ball coach so he was showing grey all the ropes.

seriously, how cute are they?!

and how cute is this one! i got to snuggle wyatt for most of the afternoon while aunt allison entertained will baby.

what a fun sunday! we were all sad to see them go.

even though it was a short visit, we were so thankful for it. bonus cousin time, we finally got meet wyatt, and we planned a trip to jacksonville for october!

school days.tuck edition

2011-09-08T21:13:00.001-04:00

the T MAN had his first day of "school" today.

you would have thought i left him to a pack of starving wolves.

let me preface this with the fact that he is apparently in a phase of separation from some of his favorite people. he is majorly distressed when his daddy leaves for work in the morning, when adam and krista have to go home in the afternoon, when grey goes to school, etc. it's dramatic with a capital D.

today was no less. drama to the max.

i prepped and prepared him for exactly what was going to happen. he was so big with his bag, holding grey's hand as they walked into school together. we got to his room and he walked straight in and said "bye mommy!" i was ecstatic!

then, oh then...he realized i really was going to leave. i was holding will so he grabbed my leg and would not let go. i finally shook him loose and coaxed him back in his room and he slithered, yes slithered his screaming little body back out into the hall. i was trying to make a quick break with no such luck.

once mrs. alissa peeled him off of me i left with a smile on my face confident he was going to enjoy himself. i KNOW without a doubt he is going to do fine. and this is just a phase. he has awesome teachers with nothing but fun planned for the year. i can't wait to see him run in that room ready to play in a month or so.

let's be honest, we are at church a whole lot. he's been left with others a whole lot. he's going to love it when he can get past these first few times. i know it. we all need this time twice a week!

when i picked up little man, marsha, the director, told me she spent a lot of time with tucker today and he loves his mommy. he apparently talked about me a lot. and about the fact that i was indeed coming back to get him. that sweet thing has always been a momma's boy. i gave him lots of extra love when we got home.

oh my. we'll do it all again next tuesday!

school days

2011-09-07T21:20:00.000-04:00

we enjoyed a "happy school days" dinner tonight. one that i hope will become tradition in the years to come. we'll eat their favorite meal, a special dessert, decorations, and be on our knees as a family asking the Lord to work and move in friends, teachers, and us each school year.

now this year we had an abbreviated version of the aforementioned activities. this year i made some of their favorite foods, a special dessert, decorated the table, and attempted praying together as a family. will screamed through the entire meal {i'm pretty sure his tummy was hurting because he burped and started smiling}, i didn't even get to sit down to eat with the family, and prayer time didn't happen until bedtime due to many circumstances. just keepin' it real.

grey started 4k today! he could hardly wait. he was most excited about going to the "tigers" classroom UPSTAIRS!

here's a few snapshots from the morning. he is one silly boy.

his favorite part of his day was playing with his friends josh and alex outside on the playground. but he LOVES his new teachers. it's going to be a good year!

the tuck man starts tomorrow...

the truth is

2011-08-30T14:27:00.001-04:00

written on my to-do list for today...

"get a grip meghan. things could be really bad. and they're not."

despite happy faces and happy posts on the blog, the going has gotten rough around here lately.

though we have moments of pure joy, giggles, and fun...that isn't the whole of it. but really, why would i really want to post the ugly to remember in the years to come? well now, now is the time that i need to record where i am and look back to see how the Lord faithfully brought me from this place of struggle.

i wrote down all of my thoughts while i was throwing myself the most gigantic pity party the other day. just so i could understand why in the world i would be throwing myself another one.

it's those darn expectations again.

here it is. "meghan in the raw" as i like to call it.

I am lazy and incapable
I am frustrated when things don't go my way
I am losing the battle in raising my children
I want to make fun memories and give the boys opportunities
I want to make our house a home
I want to really love the students in my small group better
I am going to crack under pressure
I want to have a good disposition
I want to love my husband well
I want to trust in God no matter what
I want to have a great relationship with grey, with tuck, and with will
I am afraid when they have a choice they won't choose me
I am afraid because I am not patient or kind and children need both of those things desperately
I procrastinate
I never finish anything
I talk more than I do
I have lost vision and any determination
I am sad that grey is growing up so fast
I compare myself to others and fear that I am losing who God made me to be
I want my children to know who God is
I suck at showing them
I am unorganized and always end up frustrated
I waste my time
I wish we had more money sometimes
I then think how foolish and prideful I am
I want to live in freedom of all of this

these seemingly silly things tend to take over my mind more often than not. the moments of failure reign supreme over our day.

being a mother the past few months has almost put me over the edge. the tuck man has almost driven me to the insane asylum. he's two years old. he is strong-willed and i am impatient. apparently he's a lot like me.

i live, sleep, and breath boys.

they are passionate and physical. they are loud and demanding. they are a gift to which i am called to steward.

the truth is, i am exhausted. my expectations are far higher than reality allows and i am not willing to compromise. it's ugly. it's nasty. and i am so ready to crawl out of this hole and not ever go back.

but i know i will. it's inevitable. it will just look a little different at a different phase.

i can see it. i see the light at the end of the tunnel. i know that Christ is in me. i know who i am in Him. but i consistently allow my flesh to react, to take over. and then i throw myself a pity party.

my mom has been an incredible encouragement in this time as i have ended up in tears some days while talking with her. i found a book that she gave me while i was a student at clemson. she wrote a short prayer for me at the end of it. she prayed "may she find the course You have for her and pursue it with purpose!"

i am on that course now. this is always the course the Lord had for me. He knew it then and here i am. my purpose is blurry at times but i see the Lord sustaining me day by day.

i also received these precious words from her in the mail a few days ago. may they encourage any mother no matter where you are in that journey.

"We're called to snuggle {love} and called to discipline {love}. It's a calling to which we feel inadequate the majority of the time because in reality and our own expectations, we are. I wish I had heard these words as a young mother, but 'give it up!' Give up your own expectations of mothering and let God, the Father, give you His expectations for you and for your sweet family!"

and in His grace He is consistently and faithfully revealing new parts of Himself to me so that in the moment I can allow Him to be strength in my weakness.

the truth is, that's where i am.

kick it

2011-08-29T21:18:00.000-04:00

i think i underestimated my oldest son's athletic ability.

we all attended his first soccer practice tonight. and that little boy can straight up kick a soccer ball!

seriously, it had to be just about the cutest thing i've ever seen. {is it okay to think my son playing soccer is cute? at four, i think it's okay} i couldn't get enough of the stretches, the drills, the giggles. it was so enjoyable to sit {or chase tucker down off the field} and watch.

grey and annabelle are the best of friends. we love their sweet little friendship so much, we have already prearranged their marriage down the road. now i know this is a common practice between parents to say this, but in our case, we are much more serious. like really, they WILL spend the rest of their lives together.

if they got separated on the soccer field, they ran to find each other so they could do everything side by side. mendy {annabelle's mom} and i just "awwed" the whole practice at those two little sweet things. they did all their stretches side by side.

i took quite a few pictures...i didn't want to miss a minute. is it that obvious this is our first organized sport with our children?! i think so.

oh and annabelle has a younger sister, lila. she and tucker are both two...very much TWO. so we laughed and intercepted our TWO year olds off of the field most of the evening. will watched content with the absolutely perfect evening!

tuck couldn't stand not being out there too. grey took time out to run over and hug him about 3 times during practice.

then he laid in the grass and watched his big brother.

grey plays with Victory Sports. their entire purpose is outreach. they present the gospel to each child and their families during each practice and game. that's why they do what they do. they are reaching our community in huge ways. it's a pleasure to be a part of it.

i asked grey what his favorite part of soccer practice was and he said:

"the tic tac!" {dribbling the ball between his own feet}

and he can't wait to wear his shin guards and cleats :)

this and that

2011-08-23T20:29:00.002-04:00

just to catch myself up on life...

we all missed the grey bear last week.

like really missed him.

i will have to do a completely separate post on all of the four year camp fun. there was lots.

we had quite the weekend that included a good ol' fashioned trip to the emergency room, heavy pain medication, a few barf bags, and one tired me. thankfully on sunday afternoon matthew passed that dadgum kidney stone and we could finally move on with our lives. poor guy. let's just say i'm glad that's over and i hope he never has to experience it again. at least we'll be more prepared next time. for a short while i thought he may be having a heart attack!

thankfully grey bear joined the ranks back at home because tuck missed his playmate. he NEEDED me to play with him every second of every day last week. i don't fair so well jumping off of couches, eating dirt, and playing with dead worms. we all appreciate the grey bear. he came home with some funny tales of classic memories with his cousins. and he seemed about 2 years older. i hate how that happens. did i say i missed him? because i did.

those two have been playing like champs together the past two days!

this weekend, i also caught the mice that ate through tuck's twin mattress for his big boy bed. i was far too excited about this but THEY ATE THROUGH A PERFECTLY GOOD MATTRESS! anyhow, a very generous friend had a twin mattress that we could have so we finally got tuck's bed set up. since he's been crawling out of his crib for over a month now it was about time. i think it's safe to say he loves it!

{muscle man}

the will baby is somewhat successfully eating bananas and sweet potatoes. somewhat being the key word. i secretly have this fear that he's going to want to nurse until he's seven. i'm totally not okay with that. i do realize he's only 5 months old but STILL. it's irrational, i know.

i am totally loving his faces while he eats!

cute E patoot E!

that about wraps up some of the bigger happenings.

up next: some absolutely delicious, very healthy new recipes!

oh to be four

2011-08-17T14:41:00.001-04:00

i received this picture this morning in my inbox.

i mean really, four year old camp is rockin' this year.

wish i was there.

WRC.5 months

2011-08-16T21:18:00.001-04:00

he's growing and changing day by day.

his disposition is perfectly content.

these have been five wonderful months with little will baby.

what a joy to watch him grow.

and begin to explore his world.

we are savoring the baby days!

look alikes

2011-08-12T21:52:00.000-04:00

grey bear almost 5 months

sir william almost 5 months

will baby eats!

2011-08-10T20:04:00.000-04:00

Will had his first taste of cereal last night.

He did far better than the other two did with their first taste. He didn't act as repulsed and swallowed almost all of it. win!

secretly, i have dreaded this day. as is with any other milestone, it's a sense of loss for me initially. a loss of the pure baby that only lasts for such a short time.

then again, i am certainly enjoying watching him grow. i am every day amazed at how intricately God designed us. and made us in His image. and i get to watch three of his little children grow and change right in front of my eyes!

okay, back to the cereal.

he had a little encouragement from the troops.

and in the end i'm pretty sure he loved the experience!

if you need me, i'll be in the kitchen whippin' up some baby food for my sweet boy!

we've been

2011-08-09T21:53:00.000-04:00

potty training. period.

a naked little body every day. sometimes in undies, most of the time completely in the nude.

we have had many many successes. we throw poo poo parties and reward with marshmallows. tuck is doing awesome!

there have also been a couple dramatic failures thrown in. such as the other morning when tuck had just gone poo in the potty and we threw the ol' classic poo poo party. the boys went into their room to play and before i knew it, he came running into my room holding his bottom. unfortunately he had already pooped on the carpet in their room.

and then ran his grocery cart through it.

seriously.

so now there are tire marks of poop in their carpet that i can't get out. gross.

i guess it comes with the territory of potty training this one. fortunately he's the one that initiated this whole rigamarole with using the potty so i've just dug my heels in and run with it. it's meant a lot of time at home and some patience on my part but we are making great strides.

he has the muscles to prove it.

we've also been to columbia and back for a short visit. we went to watch grey show us what he learned at music and arts camp. let's just say he didn't want to come home with us. i loved watching him "perform" for us and it brought a little lump in my throat watching him sing and do the motions to songs about Jesus. tuck really got into it too doing all the moves and scootin' his little booty up front to sit with his big brother. he must have really missed him.

we spent a lot of time in the pool.

and watered plants. naked.

anyone surprised? anyone?!

matthew and i celebrated six sweet years of marriage on saturday. there are far too many words for that. we are entering into yet a whole new journey in our marriage and enjoying thoroughly where we are. i am more confident after 6 years that there is no other more perfect. i love that man.

we've been enjoying the end of summer. when the Lord can help me see past the moment in front of me, i have been savoring these last weeks at home with the boys before school starts in september. i am reminded frequently of the blessing of children and focusing on staying in the moment whatever that moment may bring.

mess

2011-08-03T21:29:00.000-04:00

after this happened while i was nursing will...

{that's the dirt taken out of one of my indoor plants and conveniently made a construction site on our side table in the living room}

we decided this was a fantastic idea. for the outdoors.

grey is with gigi and papa this week at music and arts camp. he is having more fun than one little 4 year old can stand. he doesn't even care to talk to us much on the phone. and believe me when i say, talking is his specialty.

so.

that leaves us here with the younger two.

have i ever mentioned that tucker is a mess. he is. a total mess.

but a funny mess. i am enjoying our days this week of doing things that only result in messes. big, gigantic messes. i'm realizing that he simply takes after me. i was always one for a good mess before i had a house to maintain. it hasn't been hard to appreciate that quality in him and join right in this week as i nurture the messiness in him.

he cracks me up all day long.

because he's growing

2011-08-01T21:27:00.001-04:00

sir william is the most handsome little man. i can't help but photograph him.

he's growing at warp speed. as all babies do but for some reason i forget that.

he is rolling all over the place. and he loves to play with his toys.

his chunky little body is too cute. i seriously can't NOT kiss him all over.

he is so very content to just play. he watches his older brothers closely all throughout the day. they constantly provoke the biggest smiles and giggles from him. melts my heart every single time.

he interacts with everything around him. from cups of coffee to noses and hair. he prefers to be talked to and talks right back.

he is getting stronger by the day. he is even prop sitting!

see that little blankie in his hand up there? that's his little snuggly lamb. he sleeps with it tucked right in his arm up by his face. it's precious really.

my my. look at that boy.

you wish

2011-07-28T13:31:00.003-04:00

you were this awesomely chunky as a baby.

that's me my friends! right at a year old in all my rolls of glory.

i think matthew fell in love with me more when he saw this picture.

too bad none of my boys seem to be basking in this much chunk. it's a beautiful thing!

this is real life

2011-07-26T20:37:00.001-04:00

and the picture quality proves it. it's horrible really.

sometimes i just need to grab the camera and use whatever lens that's on it with whatever current settings are on and do the best i can holding a baby, and/or warding off tackles and being whacked by a sword. i find myself laughing a lot throughout the day at various sights. i even catch myself saying really funny things out loud that if taken out of context, one may wet their pants upon hearing it. i'll be back with some of those soon. for now, here's a visual.

when the day is hard

2011-07-25T21:07:00.002-04:00

when patience just won't prevail.

when your two year old poops in his underwear multiple times and it's really messy.

when your efforts at consistent discipline are failing miserably. {at least it seems like it in the moment}

when it's been an eternity since you've had a real conversation with your husband.

when you can't see the good.

when all the beds are unmade.

when messes of gargantuan proportions are being made while you're nursing.

when you don't have more than 10 minutes to yourself.

when you feel like all you've done all day is give spankings for disobedience.

when you don't even complete ONE task.

when there are loads of clean clothes scattered all over your bedroom.

when the suitcases need unpacking.

when you can't keep up.

when you can't succomb to the "hold you's" all day.

when the crying trumps the laughing.

when you walk around with spit up on your shirt all day.

when your four year old asks you one thousand eighty seven questions and you only know how to answer half of them.

when there's crayon on the wall, the hardwood floor, and the chair.

when everyone is crying.

when it's all you can do to get the chicken marinated for dinner.

when the fighting is constant.

when you feel like you've run a marathon by 11 a.m.

when you complain to your husband the one time you talk to him during the day.

when the baby won't nap.

when the bellies are never satisfied.

when the squeals are ear piercing.

when you want to be anywhere but here but you don't want to be anywhere but here.

when i finally get a quiet moment.

when i can finally see the all of the good.

when the overwhelming moments cease and i can see clearly and gain perspective.

i find myself begging the Lord for strength because i know He covers me and all of my imperfections. and then i am grateful to He alone for His grace in all the moments that seem so incredibly difficult. i have it really good. and i rejoice with a grateful heart.

my boys are full blown healthy.

we have food to fill their bellies.

my baby sleeps 9 hours at night. and then some.

my two year old did not have even ONE tee tee accident in his underwear.

my boys are physically able to squeal, play, and fight.

we have a home that has to be cleaned.

my four year old has a constantly working, intelligent mind.

we have the clothes to wash, the chicken to marinate, and the beds to make.

i have a husband that encourages me daily even when i complain and whine.

we have the wisdom to discipline.

i have the Spirit inside of me who is patient and kind.

i have the Word to cling to and give me hope.

i get to stay home with all of my children and watch them grow, nurture them, and guide them.

i will cling to Him and be grateful when the day is hard.

dear daddy.day four

2011-07-21T22:12:00.001-04:00

july 21, 2011

dear daddy,

i had breakfast with poppie this morning before he went to work. just me and poppie at the kitchen counter. he fixed me cereal. no one else was awake yet. i cried when he went to work.

mommy told us that we were going to get to play with some friends today. i didn't know it was going to be so much fun! mrs. ashley, grant, and lydia came to play. mommy said she used to live with mrs. ashley at clemson and she said those were some of the best years of her life. i believe her because they talked the whole time they were together like they'd known each other for years!

grey and grant were pretty silly. they had their share of moments but the sure did play hard together.

we went swimming today. grey and ms. april got to spend time together again and i was so tired of them having so much fun i screamed and cried in the pool. mommy had to give me a snack to calm me down. then i tried to scale the fence just for fun. all i wanted to do was swim holding grey's hand. they finally let me towards the end. then i smiled really big. i love grey most of the time.

i watched grey swim the LENGTH of the junior olympic size swimming pool today with just his swimming belt. he was swimming so much i couldn't keep up with him. he's really brave. he tried to show me how to reach really far with my arms and kick really hard. i know how to kick hard and float on my back. since he was swimming like a fish, i decided to throw my car from the side of the pool and jump in to get it over and over again.

we all came home, ate lunch, and chased each other around poppie and marmie's house. i had to take a nap after that. i have a sneaky suspicion grey and grant got to stay up and watch peter pan without me and lydia. and i'm pretty sure they practiced balancing balls on their feet.

we got to play some more with grant and lydia. i tried not to tackle them too much. not everybody likes to be tackled you know. at least that's what mommy tells me. i never cooperate with mommy when she wants to take a picture. but i let her get me in at least ONE just to satisfy her for a few days. {don't tell her, but it's not a very good picture}

i was sad when mrs. ashley, grant, and lydia had to leave. we had so much fun with them! i think we'll get to see them soon though. mommy told me you are great friends with their daddy, mr. seth. you need to call him so we can all play again soon.

i found a penny yesterday and i want to carry it with me everywhere in my little hand. it's kind of like those little fishies i found at the beach. i cried when they would fall out. but marmie found an easter egg for me to keep it in so i know where it is when it's not in my hand. she's such a good marmie, always thinking.

i told mommy "no!" today and got a spanking. it hurt but i think i'm learning it's not okay to tell mommy "no."

i can make mommy laugh so hard. all i do is repeat everything she says and make cute faces at her. i don't know why she laughs so much at me.

i tried to poo poo in the potty so i could get marshmallows on sticks today. i didn't succeed once. mommy thinks it's great that i'm trying. she said she's going to start letting me wear big boy underwear when we get home because i'm doing such a great job!

grey let me sit in the chair with him for about 10 minutes. it made me happier than ever!

well i think that's all i wanted to tell you daddy.

i love you,

tuck man

dear daddy.day three

2011-07-20T21:34:00.000-04:00

july 20, 2011

dear daddy,

you never fail to make mommy feel like she is the light of your life. good job with ALL of the birthday surprises over the last week and that super special blog post you wrote for her. you are one fine daddy.

well, tuck man and i woke mommy up by singing "happy birthday" to her as loud as we could. then we smothered her with kisses and climbed into bed with her. we were so happy it was finally her birthday.

i couldn't wait for her to come downstairs to see all of my decorations that me, poppie, and tucker put up last night. we popped a few balloons while we were putting them up but that's okay. she loved them! i knew she would.

i made her a special card and helped marmie wrap a couple of presents i picked out for her. first, i picked out a pink cup with a straw because she needed a girl color. i also picked out a cookie sheet because she really needs a new one to bake some yummy cookies for us! wanna know what i told marmie to write in here card? good. i knew you would...

"dear mommy,

i love so much and when you don't see me, tucker will be with you. and you can play with him and make will laugh.

happy birthday! i love you!
happy birthday to you!

GREY"

mommy got to talk to you on the phone this morning. i think that made her really happy because she smiled a lot.

tuck and i played and let marmie and mommy talk and drink coffee and tea. we fought a little bit and tucker hit me but that's okay. then i got to put my bathing suit on and go to my swimming lessons again! i was so excited because i had a couple more surprises for mommy. i swam with just the swim belt on by myself! then i put my goggles on and went under water for a couple of seconds! happy birthday mommy! she was proud.

the adam's girls sent mommy a special party in a box with all sorts of fun things in it. tuck and i played with the blowers all day.

while mommy and marmie went shopping this afternoon, i got to take a nap and play with poppie. we watched george 2 and i laughed at the really funny parts. when they brought will home i taught him how to wrestle a little bit. but i was very gentle. he liked sitting on my tummy. we laughed at each other. i love sweet little chubby cheeks.

marmie made mommy a special birthday dinner. tucker liked eating the ribs.

i locked myself in the bathroom during dinner and cried. then marmie explained the digestive system to me again because i had lots of questions about what happens to the food when we eat it. tucker almost got a spanking at dinner because he wouldn't sit down. i made sure he remembered if he didn't sit down he would definitely get a spanking.

tucker kept saying it was his birthday today. but i set him straight every time.

we got to have a yummy pie after dinner. i told marmie i don't like ANY kind of pie but i really did like this one. it was delicious and i ate every bite. we sang "happy birthday" to mommy and me and tuck helped her blow out her candle.

i kissed and hugged mommy a lot today. i think it made her feel special. i learn from watching you, you know. you do a really good job loving mommy. i am being the man of the family while you're gone just like you told me to. sometimes i don't obey or listen to mommy the first time but i'm working on that too.

i had fun on mommy's birthday and she did too. when you come home and i come home i am going to hug and kiss you a lot.

we miss you and can't wait to see you soon daddy!

love,

grey bear

A HACKERS PERSPECTIVE

2011-07-20T01:08:00.002-04:00

Having been married to this lovely lady for 6 years now,it wasn’t too difficult to crack the password for her blog.

Look at that smile. mmm hmm. Anyway, in honor of her birth 28 years ago, I thought Imight give a few insights that others normally might not see.

When I get down on myself and get to whining aboutthings, she doesn’t caudle me, she points me to Truth.
Speaking of whining, when I am sick, and I whine a lot,she treats me like a baby because she knows that I need that more thanmedicine.
Recently one of her favorite bloggers “re-pinned”something from her pinterest page. Thiscreated quite a stir in our household.
Though she will tell you with her mouth that she doesn’treally like dancing, all it takes is a good beat to get her body moving. This is proven in the dance ability of ourchildren.
She has a deep desire for others to experience Jesus andcommunity to the depths that she has, and it frustrates her for them when they aren’table to.
For such a free-spirited person, she is quite a creatureof habit. She will eat the samebreakfast for months at a time (british muffins from Trader Joes with peachAll-fruit). We pause whatever we aredoing every night at 10:17 to watch the weather. She would also rather watch her favoritemovies (You’ve Got Mail, The Devil Wears Prada, and The Holiday) over and overagain before watching a new one.
There have been numerous times in our marriage when I wasstruggling in my desire to spend time with the Lord, and I walked in on herfaithfully studying the Scriptures. Thiswas all the encouragement I needed.
Speaking of that, when we are both studying the Word atthe same time on the couch, she rejoices with the Truth she is learning so muchthat she constantly interrupts my study to tell me what she’s learning. These are the most beautiful interruptionsthat I will ever have.
Want to know how much she loves our children? In the very rare occasion that we get to goon a date, and she finally has 3 hours away from them, all she can do is talkabout them. How she wants to be a bettermom, the desires she has for each of them individually, and how she wants themto understand the truth. This is apicture I took of her on our last date as she was talking about Tuck. They bring her such joy.

Words cannot express how glad I am that 28 years ago theLord saw fit to bring Meghan to this earth. I could continue to write about all of the wonderful things that makeher so lovely. I wish you all were ableto know her like I do.

Happy Birthday Meghan! I love you!

dear daddy.day two

2011-07-19T20:37:00.002-04:00

july 19, 2011

dear daddy,

today is mommy's last day of being 27 years old. she does realize she's going downhill quickly and even thinks she's going to need glasses soon. please pray for her.

we all slept until 7 this morning. all of us! woohoo! we all had a great breakfast and headed out to trader joe's to find ribbit the frog. grey thought he was going to be a real frog. when we found him grey looked at mommy and said, "mommy, he's not real at all!" indeed. he is a stuffed frog but he and tuck got a sucker for finding him. we found a delightful treat at trader joe's. frozen chocolate covered banana slices. you would love them.

tuck cried and wanted to go to bed when we got home {at 10:30} and did a flip into his bed to get his paci along with bear bear and doggie. he screamed and ran away when we said it was time to go to the pool so marmie stayed here with him while mommy took grey to swimming lessons. grey made mommy dive for the diving rings for about thirty minutes and then she swam around the pool multiple times with grey on her back. then mommy and grey had a picnic at the pool. during the picnic grey informed mommy that flies have itty bitty tongues that really like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. did you know that?

while we were gone tuck decided it would finally be okay to POO POO IN THE POTTY. that's right. my mom is a miracle worker. also evidencing her miracle work, she put will down for a nap and he ended up sleeping for an hour and a half!

mommy and will played for a long while this afternoon while the bigger boys napped. it was the sweetest time. that little boy is absolutely, positively precious.

grey and marmie ran a few errands this afternoon. grey did not accidentally tell mommy what he picked out for her birthday tomorrow. and he did not then say, "oohh! woops! i forgot i wasn't supposed to tell you." to which she did not reassure him she was still going to be surprised tomorrow.

my word, we have laughed all day! we sure are funny.

we went to anitas for dinner. martha was there. in all her sassiness.

she kissed us all and was excited to meet will.

we laughed through the entire meal. grey and tucker decided it was a great idea to yell "poo poo" and "tee tee" really loud. at dinner. in a restaurant. with other families close by.

tucker got in and out of his seat 500 times and kept yelling "martha!" until she came back to the table. we made a scene as usual and mommy realized again why we don't go out to eat often.

will played with his toes and marmie fed him chips and salsa. i think his first anitas experience was a success!

grey ate lots of chips and cheese and also tried the parsley tonight while marmie explained the digestive system to him.

on our way home grey asked mommy 5 times if she could go straight to bed after she took a shower tonight. he has things to do to surprise the birthday girl tomorrow. you better believe he's following in your shoes. he's decorating the kitchen now. but mommy definitely does not know about it.

mommy here: so many things happen in a day that i wish i had a permanent video camera glued to my face. i laughed so hard today i cried twice! tucker is talking non-stop and will is growing day by day. grey is bossing everyone around and being as sweet as ever. if those two things can go together. they do with him.

we miss you.

love,
us minus you

added after bedtime:

grey asked mommy how God makes us without gluing us together. then asked if the God was angry with the men who took Jesus away. just thought you may want to be prepared for when you come home :)

dear daddy.day one

2011-07-18T21:51:00.002-04:00

july 18, 2011

dear daddy,

we are all so glad that you made it to costa rica safely!

after a busy evening of dog pile on poppie which then turned into tickle poppie until he almost wet his pants, we settled into our beds and rested up for a fun day today.

we have been playing a lot today as to be expected. our usual games of chasing and "hannah hannah boo" have been the most frequent. marmie and poppie have some of the coolest "old toys" {unfortunately those are mommy, uncle chad, and uncle nathan's toys from their childhood} that we love to play with too. they keep us entertained for hours.

grey had swimming lessons this morning and did super! he practiced scooping up super hero ice cream with the water and swam across the pool multiple times. {with a little help} he even decided to show ms. april how he could dunk his head under water! we were all impressed :) it wore him out.

tucker was most enthralled with a big ol' frog that a bigger boy at the pool found. he was flaunting that thing around and you better believe tucker was right beside him trying to take hold of it himself.

will relaxed in his stroller and took a nap while marmie sat close by.

lunch and naps had by all except from your youngest son who refuses to sleep while he's away from home. that little rascal.

and tuck got himself up from his nap today. yep, climbed right out of his pack n' play and walked right out of the door. he was very happy to get back in tonight though. grey put him to bed. he said his prayers for him and then sang him the ol' classics, "rudolf," "frosty," and "silent night." we should have made the same rule for christmas songs as we did for christmas movies...not until november.

my mom and i decided to take a trip to costco this afternoon which was somewhat of a disaster of tuckerness. he had a meltdown. there was absolutely no warning of this when he was excitedly doing the robot to lecrae's "God is enough" in the car on the way. imagine that one...while you look at this face...

we had dinner from panera which grey promply swallowed whole. just so he could have some annie's chocolate bunnies. then we all headed outside to enjoy the evening outdoors. we smelled flowers, watched bees, killed ants, and raced down the driveway.

i failed multiple times in disciplining tuck today because i CANNOT not laugh at him. oh my word. it's horrible. i caved. but not every time.

i answered lots of questions from grey today. just to let you in on his latest one, "mommy, when we move do our bones move too?"

another round of "tickle me! tickle grey! tickle mommy!" and a good dog pile and the day was done.

watching master chef and thinking of you...

love,

us

wrc.four months

2011-07-15T21:44:00.000-04:00

four whole months!

they have passed ever so quickly.

we can't get enough of all 15 lbs. 10 oz. of this little man. this boy is quite the sweetums. my word, he is happy! he is constantly full of belly laughs which in turn always makes me laugh right back at him.

sweet baby snuggles up with his blankies to sooth himself to sleep. we have begun the before naps and bed routine of books and singing. he likes to snuggle into my neck just before i lay him down. he takes 3-4 naps a day depending on how long a stretch he gets in at a time. thankfully he recovered from his revolt against sleeping once we returned from our crazy 10 day jaunt. a good dose of his own bed and a little normalcy kicked him right back in to sleeping a solid 9-10 hours at night. he hits the hay at 7 pm and wakes up between 4 and 5 am.

he is such a social little fella. loves looking at faces and hearing our voices. i find a new very ticklish spot on him every day it seems. which just provokes that belly laugh.

he is becoming increasingly interested in toys. intentionally grabbing things and putting them in his mouth. he gets busy batting at things under his play mat and also jumping around in the jumparoo now that his neck is so strong and his little tootsies touch the floor.

oh AND he's rolling over both ways! seriously. i am so not ready for this. but he is. he is so proud of himself!

i'm really hoping his complete and utter disdain for the bottle doesn't mean that he is going to be stubborn. he has such a good temperament that i would sure hate it if he had such a stubborn streak in him. he is still nursing every 3 to 4 hours. he has just started showing some interest in food while we eat and it's hilarious. he has this certain rounded lip look when he spies something on a fork. and then he starts to reach for it. i won't be feeding him food until i feel like he needs a little extra something. i better get on my baby food making with all these yummy fresh fruits and veggies in season!

grey still refers to him as "chubby cheeks" more often than not. and tuck gave him the ol' one two on his forehead yesterday with a metal bucket that resulted in his first battle wound. he took it like a man and only cried for a short while because i scooped him up and snuggled him so much he forgot about it!

i wish i could stop time right here and now and just enjoy him forever at this age. but then again, the more he grows the more i have to love about him!

a date

2011-07-13T21:52:00.000-04:00

grey and i had a night out on the town.

super man ice cream for him, mint chocolate chip for me, and a window front seat where both of our legs dangled from the stools.

we talked. no surprise there. i had no plans. i just let him talk. and eat his ice cream.

which took him forever {have i ever mentioned how much he likes to talk?} and eventually turned his teeth blue.

some hot topics of our conversation: {note: i simply listened and responded when asked a question}

why God made certain silly words.

why tucker is soooo wild sometimes.

how funny tyson is when he calls blueberries "boolillies."

the fact that krista is indeed 9 years old. daddy always thinks she's only 7 years old.

how do you spell.....? {insert words like "words," "something," "blueberries," "kangaroo"}

he's probably going to marry brooke one day.

about how mommy's feet actually hang off the stool too and it would be okay if our flip flops fell off. "that's serious mommy!"

how he wants to go on dates with me when his really big. {not gonna lie. this one made me tear up.}

how he's going to be in preschool in september. he can't wait to see his friends again.

and much much more.

it was some precious time with my precious son.

.........

grey has been showing lots of interest in taking pictures. when i say taking interest, i mean he's asking me REAL questions about focusing, composition, and lighting! i could not be more thrilled. so part of our date was to give him the camera {with my hands very close by for support. that camera is heavy!} and let him be as creative as he could be in those moments.

it was a blast.

he loved the self-timer and only wanted to use that for about 15 minutes. i let him set everything up. he found somewhere to set the camera, he told me where to sit, and then ran to get in the picture. it was awesome. here is some of his handy work.

he did such a good job. those were just a select few.

then i took a few of him throwing coins in the fountain and savored our last few moments just the two of us.

can't wait until our next date! i do hope they last until his really big.

moments

2011-07-12T21:19:00.000-04:00

and it starts.

all three boys playing together. though the older two were fighting over who was going to push what buttons on the baby toy, eventually all three of them were content to play together for at least 10 minutes. my heart was full. those big boys love this blue eyed baby.

i already think grey bear and will have a special something. grey gets a smile from will without fail. and i can see will watching him intently more often than not. his eyes gravitate toward grey.

and i'm pretty sure grey thinks will is the greatest. i'll enjoy that now because in a couple of years he could be body slamming grey like tuck does.

and grey bear got a hold of the camera and took these last two shots. he is somethin' else.

after that, grey and i went on a date tonight that included ice cream and a photo adventure...

this man

2011-07-09T20:56:00.000-04:00

this man.

a picture of mercy.

i never deserved a man like this. never in a million years.

this is how i can quite possibly begin to grasp the concept of mercy. and grace.

in this man.

why after a million mistakes and bad decisions? the hurt. the stupidity. the giving of my heart only to be broken. why?

because He always had a better plan. the perfect plan. one that was this man.

when i couldn't understand the moment i was in, His plan was this man. for me. forever.

He is the creator and sustainer of both of our hearts now one.

that smile. that laugh. the heart behind it. could it have been created for me to share this life with? to tenderly love our children? do i get to watch it grow and change every season of life?

it's mercy. it's grace.

it's all too much. to touch it. to have it forever. as long as we both shall live. joy fills my soul with this man.

it's a tangible mercy. a physical grace. in this man.

no, i don't deserve it. i never did and i never will.

as we laugh and cry and figure out all of this, He is mercy and grace.

and He is pouring it all over me in this man.

fireworks and such

2011-07-06T21:27:00.001-04:00

oh glory.

after the start of our crazy week {steph's very accurate, detailed account} , we settled in at poppie and marmie's for a long weekend while matthew was still in Tennessee.

they were so gracious to take us nomads in for a little rest and relaxation.

look at 'em.

they were so much help to me. and after the adventure i'd just been on, i needed all the help i could get.

my mom cooked up some delicious meals and poppie took the big boys fishing on a few occasions. they played, laughed, and allowed me to truly relax for a few days.

we enjoyed some really fun time at the pool where both big boys really enjoyed swimming. of course i made the mistake of taking off tuck's swimmies for a snack the second day and after that he was more interested in killing the ants that were traveling around the pool. grey got brave quick and he will be attending swimming lessons in a few weeks to build a little more confidence. will enjoyed himself all snuggled up. and monday we met abby, matt, and cady for a swim! we could have stayed all day.

will was especially entertained by gram. she could get the best belly laughs out of him. though it doesn't take much, she was REALLY good at it.

i had an opportunity to spend some much needed time with my heart friend, ann. by "heart friend" i mean that we will always share the real parts of our hearts when we're together. a forever friend that i always wish to spend more time with. clemson was good to us in our hours upon hours we spent together there. though i didn't have much to offer in the way of encouragement on my part, i was totally encouraged by her and where she is in life and her relationship with the Lord. so very grateful for that time.

grey was stoked to catch fireflies one night. he has manned up since last summer when all he would do is swat at them. he must have caught 25 and really enjoyed himself. marmie really enjoyed him!

we celebrated the 4th of july with fireworks of course. grey surprisingly loved them. tuck was a tad skiddish at first but was waving a sparkler by the end. they were both pretty mesmerized. and all three boys even let me get a picture of them in their red, white, and blue. let me assure you, it was not without a battle.

i will say after 10 days of traveling here and there and everywhere {at least it felt like it}, i was more than happy to come home to my sweet husband! at least for a little while...

beach week.sparkler edition

2011-07-01T22:05:00.000-04:00

yes. and entire post on our adventures with sparklers on the beach.

it was hilarious.

i wish i had steph's video she took of the whole charade. but i do have pictures.

let's just say wind and fire don't mix. it took about 8 of us to work on getting the things lit only to fail miserably. matthew and christopher finally took a sparkler and a lighter up to the house to get one started and made the run back to the beach to light all of the kids'. christopher was running like he was carrying the olympic torch.

we did this on two different occasions.

{i do realize this is only funny to those that were present. just believe me. it was funny.}

the geniuses.

we have a light!

tada!

oh good times!